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When I heard him say that he loved me, it sent me intoa healing sleep.[-][+][-]I was very sore for several days and couldn't stand to have any pressureupon my groin. But Mark developed a technique that let him change mydressings and pads without hurting me.When it came time for me to go to the pool to totally relax, Mark wasright there by me. His presence soothed away any ache better thananything else and when I told him about my desire to be a birth mother,he smiled and said that was being arranged for me. He refused to saywhat it was because it was not quite ready yet, but was in the making.I knew then that whatever it was a gamble. He was trying to help me tofulfill my dreams of motherhood and did not want me hurt by bogusclaims.But I knew that Mark had friends that were experts in reproductivebiology. Just what he could do, I didn't know, but he had a plan. Thatmuch I could tell.Stan was there to take us home. He kept me laughing by telling his cornyjokes. After I healed up, Mark. By the time my digital clock ticked over to 12.00 am I could feel Thursday laughing at me, the little red dots calmly blinking the seconds at me, mocking me with the fact that it may be the day I was desperately waiting for but there were still fifteen hours to go before Maitena would arrive. Nine hundred minutes. Fifty-four thousand blinks of those infuriatingly insignificant little red dots that suddenly had the power to drive me insane with frustrated self-denial. For a fact I knew how fertile the imagination could be but I’d never realised how effective it could be as a weapon when it is used against the bearer. I was adamant that I would prove Maitena’s estimation of me wrong. I would learn the patience and discipline she accused me of lacking if it killed me but that was before I knew what a treacherous instrument the mind was. It felt like everything I was, was trying to force it’s way out of my too tight skin. Anything I wore felt like sandpaper & I had wrapped myself in a.
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